So, after a long, LONG hiatus, I’m back.
And to be honest, I don’t have a particular thought or feeling I would like to get out on this post. But then again, that’s probably the best way to describe how I’m feeling at the moment. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I know something’s definitely bugging me. I just can’t put my finger on it, which makes it even more frustrating.
Do any of you *non-existing readers* get that?
I’m on holiday in a beautiful house in the country side, surrounded by greenery, 20 minutes away from the beach where a big group of friends awaits and yet, I just don’t feel okay. I am so lucky to be here, I know, but I also know that sitting on my laptop doing nothing feels way better. (To any psychoanalyst out there: yes, I am aware that this completely fills in the qualities of a depressed person but I can assure you, this is not depression. This is mainly a rant caused by the lack of socializing I’ve had these past few days, the bad and rainy weather outside and my over-exaggeration when it comes to writing down my thoughts).
I always say to people: follow your guts. Your own mind probably knows best. Unfortunately, as it tends to happen, I never follow my own advice. Why? I have no fucking clue. But I know that I certainly would be a much happier and sane person if I would, that’s for sure.
And although reality has its own limitations and perhaps what you actually want at this very moment might not be possible to get for many different reasons, it never hurts to put it out there in the world. So here I go: what my mind is telling me right now is to broaden my world, to go out there, explore, experience the world around me and be free. Have no responsibilities for a while and experience being completely careless.
Just thinking about it puts me in a better mood. Because I know it’s not something crazy to ask for. I know it could be done at some point, and man… that would be incredible.
I would love for any person that stumbled upon this crazy, un-structured post to tell me, if you didn’t have ANY limitations, what would you ask for right now? What is your mind telling you? Have you actually done it? How did it feel?
I would love to know.
(Also, if you want to feel inspired by some great music while you write your comment, I suggest you to listen to what I’m listening to right now: “Please, please, please let me get what I want” by The Smiths. Amazing song. Funnily enough, I just realized how much it has to do with the topic of this post… Creepy.)